I dont know why

cigarettes. they bother me.
My friends smoking them. bothers me.
you.
not telling me either. like i had to find/ figure it out. Saddens me.
Its hard to move on, when i dont know anything. its even worse..
that i'm sure you were pressured. to be cool, to fit in, without you knowing it. thats how i feel.
just because shes your bestfriend even when i did get along, you didnt tell me. i found out in summer..



its sucks
why it bothers me so much, that you dont just admit it.
Because the SAME EXACT THING IS HAPPENING to my brothers.
both of their wives smoke without them knowing well... till now.
One of them already had cancer & shes still going at it.
The other.. it was a surprise.
Neither of my brothers knew.
Im sure they feel played and betrayed.
the only guy who's been honest about it, was my brother nate. & thats my sisters husband. he was legit about.

I just want to know, why its so hard to tell me things, i have to all the time. youre the 1st . and i feel as if im the end of the list to know or find out.
It sucks.
i cant do anything.
till then.