I miss myself.

I miss the days...
This is just something i could write about forever.
I was embarressed by my friends today. Not like super, but i just wanted to coversare with all. Not make dick jokes for an hour. They werent funny after or to me. And yes i was listening to youre convo i didnt have to be in it to be funny. God
Today was horrrible.
I want to cry.
I want to eat till i explode.
Until i have a heart attack.
I never ever want to break down infront of people i know ever again. Im embarrassed of myself, i feel like i embarrassed them.
I feel worthless.
I just want forget today.
My energy lvl died. I feel sick.
Im done here.



Happy two years and two months.

I dont want to be the way i am at school and yes its a state of mind. No i really cannot help it. I have a chemical inbalance, my nt's arent beingpaitent therefore its that. I dont feel that way so much. I try to bash it before it gets bad. I try. :(

That honestly sucks.
And ive been there.
But fuck off.
Tomorrow i swear. -.-