i cant live one day where i dont get mad. today was super fun :] we played monopoly, i burned my fingers with egyptian cheese, it was funny, ate, then chilled.Swam & caught flies with spoons. till the end. where we re-swam. My top was being retarded. So when Anthony got up from me taking him around the pool, he accidently pull it up & well i flashed everyone for a sec. its okay. its not old people. they all look the same blah blah blah. but still thats embarrassing. so i just tried to stay away from hat happening. & then i went back. & he lifted me up into the air & then i fell forward & he wouldn't let go so Im was drowning for real. & lucia & him thought it was funny as hell. which i guess was. but i seriously couldnt breathe. anyways i got upset so i just stayed alone on the other side of the pool to try to just forget it. & i couldnt. & he kept apologizing & i just couldnt say anything. & im just like its okay :). but blah. Im not mad. Im just annoyed. and they kept laughing. but whatever. its something ill let go tonight, for sure. & i just know it'll comne up in the future. sigh. well thats all i have for today. till tomorrow or whenever. goodbye.
-ashtree.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
i have stuff to do tomorrow
Sleep. Now. till i have something to spill in like a couple hours. peace.
-ashtree.
-ashtree.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
This suddenly doesn't make me feel any better...
what I need:
- A job
- my bank account to get my fucking hello kitty card to me.
-A JOB.
-My license....
-stuff for school
- & my stupid birthday to just come & go like usual..
Fun.
-ashtree.
- A job
- my bank account to get my fucking hello kitty card to me.
-A JOB.
-My license....
-stuff for school
- & my stupid birthday to just come & go like usual..
Fun.
-ashtree.
life in general.
Life in general right now is a roller coaster for me. I don't whether to be happy, sad,mad, or anything anymore. i can't just have one day where i can be all happy without some sort of drama. sigh well here I go.
My best friend since 7th grade hates me, she doesn't like the way I am or how i act towards her. but she knows I love her to death. I don't know why she has to bring up old news with my boyfriend. Now my bf on the other side is defending me like he wants to. But they get into the biggest fucking arguments which is ridiculous. Last night they both made me cry. i haven't cried since two weeks ago. I don't know why they just cant stop & be like whatever. Its not even worth fight over. I'm not worth fighting over. I'm just here. I love my boyfriend but i love my best-friend too. but ever since shes been acting this way she'll never be first. she'll always be second to me. Honestly I put Anthony over anyone. he's like my best-friend I can just talk to. but so is nana. but it doesn't matter shes treated me like shit for a long time, but i love her. she amazing person to hangout with & have fun with. i cant take it sometimes. i take a lot of her shit, i deal with her boy issues, even her trying to commit suicide. :l And on the other hand Anthony. he is just amazing all around. but when arguments like this happen. it kills me inside just to watch them fight. i hate it. -_- thats about all i have for him. Now my other friend sarah. I dont even know what to say to her. I dont understand why she couldnt just tell him. its not that hard. Its sad. it kinda makes her look bad to me. i dont like people who cant just say things to your face.. next problem. my household. i get blamed for every fucking thing in this goddamn house. its not fair. there's two other people living here too, go bitch to them. i do my chores everyday when im home & i do more. Like for example yesterday. my mom go mad at my bro for taking a long shower. so she vented to me about the water bills & what not. & i was liek okay. tell denisse. & she couldn't. So i told her. She then told nate. & he apologized about it. but on the way home before that. i snapped at my mother about her bitching about nate. i couldnt take it anymore. i was so annoyed. im like why the hell dont you just say something. & then when we got home. i told denisse shes getting me all stressed out about her problems & that moms making me part of everything. ugh. & no i just cant do that. As if im not stressed about everything around me enough. Another thing. school is about to start up again. i have no way of getting home, & this just sucks. all because i cant get my license yet till probably around Christmas. but whatever. & also i need a fucking job already. i need to buy all my stuff. pay two people back $5. & save up to get the hell out of here. & lastly. i cant decide my stupid career. beauty/cosmetology or culinary arts field... sigh. im stressed. Im mad. Im depressed. Im confused. I haven't been happy in these last 3 days. The only time I am. Is when i'm with Anthony. Or with my friends like Naterz & Lucia. Blah. life. teens. suck. I have to pee now. so. yeah.
-ashtree.
My best friend since 7th grade hates me, she doesn't like the way I am or how i act towards her. but she knows I love her to death. I don't know why she has to bring up old news with my boyfriend. Now my bf on the other side is defending me like he wants to. But they get into the biggest fucking arguments which is ridiculous. Last night they both made me cry. i haven't cried since two weeks ago. I don't know why they just cant stop & be like whatever. Its not even worth fight over. I'm not worth fighting over. I'm just here. I love my boyfriend but i love my best-friend too. but ever since shes been acting this way she'll never be first. she'll always be second to me. Honestly I put Anthony over anyone. he's like my best-friend I can just talk to. but so is nana. but it doesn't matter shes treated me like shit for a long time, but i love her. she amazing person to hangout with & have fun with. i cant take it sometimes. i take a lot of her shit, i deal with her boy issues, even her trying to commit suicide. :l And on the other hand Anthony. he is just amazing all around. but when arguments like this happen. it kills me inside just to watch them fight. i hate it. -_- thats about all i have for him. Now my other friend sarah. I dont even know what to say to her. I dont understand why she couldnt just tell him. its not that hard. Its sad. it kinda makes her look bad to me. i dont like people who cant just say things to your face.. next problem. my household. i get blamed for every fucking thing in this goddamn house. its not fair. there's two other people living here too, go bitch to them. i do my chores everyday when im home & i do more. Like for example yesterday. my mom go mad at my bro for taking a long shower. so she vented to me about the water bills & what not. & i was liek okay. tell denisse. & she couldn't. So i told her. She then told nate. & he apologized about it. but on the way home before that. i snapped at my mother about her bitching about nate. i couldnt take it anymore. i was so annoyed. im like why the hell dont you just say something. & then when we got home. i told denisse shes getting me all stressed out about her problems & that moms making me part of everything. ugh. & no i just cant do that. As if im not stressed about everything around me enough. Another thing. school is about to start up again. i have no way of getting home, & this just sucks. all because i cant get my license yet till probably around Christmas. but whatever. & also i need a fucking job already. i need to buy all my stuff. pay two people back $5. & save up to get the hell out of here. & lastly. i cant decide my stupid career. beauty/cosmetology or culinary arts field... sigh. im stressed. Im mad. Im depressed. Im confused. I haven't been happy in these last 3 days. The only time I am. Is when i'm with Anthony. Or with my friends like Naterz & Lucia. Blah. life. teens. suck. I have to pee now. so. yeah.
-ashtree.
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