I hate having anxiety

I cant brethe right nit. Im crying. Im scared. I know theres 99% that its a rumor its fake an not true. But theres always that one percent. And i hate it. I hte the fuckinga kids who think that shit is okay. Stop get a fucking life get your education an move the fuck on. Dont screw yourself over in a fucking gang . Thats so low and stupid. I hate it . Im scared not just for myself but for my love my friends seniors and school of innocent kids not knowing what is happening. Im scared. I dont wanna be at school but ill be strong and not think of it abd go. I hate crying i hate when peiple cant comfort me i hate when i get mad . I hate myself.

I miss myself.

I miss the days...
This is just something i could write about forever.
I was embarressed by my friends today. Not like super, but i just wanted to coversare with all. Not make dick jokes for an hour. They werent funny after or to me. And yes i was listening to youre convo i didnt have to be in it to be funny. God
Today was horrrible.
I want to cry.
I want to eat till i explode.
Until i have a heart attack.
I never ever want to break down infront of people i know ever again. Im embarrassed of myself, i feel like i embarrassed them.
I feel worthless.
I just want forget today.
My energy lvl died. I feel sick.
Im done here.



Happy two years and two months.

I dont want to be the way i am at school and yes its a state of mind. No i really cannot help it. I have a chemical inbalance, my nt's arent beingpaitent therefore its that. I dont feel that way so much. I try to bash it before it gets bad. I try. :(

That honestly sucks.
And ive been there.
But fuck off.
Tomorrow i swear. -.-

Im breaking down

I just wanna talk to you. Im crying. Im hurting. I just read that. & i see that its happening. I dont mean to be snappy. I dont mean to push you away. It was just not my day today. I feel sick and emotional . I hate it.

Im feeling content.

Finally making my own money. But its already going for car insurance snd my phone. Now my laptop :/ its hard to save just $1 with having to but your own shampoo etc. Food, teah i could and will be cutting that for goid unless its super fancy occasion ya know? But its all good ill be working more hrs itll be fine. Im good in my savings and my checkibgs as well , except fpr that one tine. Oh and cant forget gas -.- well thats allZ n

I fucking hate you all

You fucking self centered prick. Fucking have time for everyone else but gucking me. What the fuck is that. Dont fucking blamee going to school. Theres plenty of day when i get out. Ive got to see you fucking once. Are fucking kidding. Fuck it all. I cant tale this shit anymore. Im done. Im going to fucking drink all my damn problems away. Fuck you. Its fucking ridiculous. I cant even describe how made i am. Youre an asshole.