why did i do that?

why?
i was so mad.
i didnt mean too.
Im scared
i dont want to lose you.
why did i do that.
im sorry. Im so sorry.
I didnt mean to lie to you.
I was just so mad.
I didnt mean to hurt you.
you're perfect to me,
I love you.
I dont know where my state of mind is anymore.
im depressed, im stressed.
i have so many problems to fix. but i keep making more.
my moods are uncontroallable.
i lied to both of you.
I used someones name
i hate myself more than ever.
im shaking im crying.
i dont know what to do with myself anymore.
I really do need help.
Im so sorry. I didnt want to do it. it just came out without a thought.
i dont know what to do to myself.
i just want to end my life.
like ive said before.
I want to see you happy, even if im not in the equation.
I know ive made miustakes before, but never this one.
EVER.
ive NEVER lied to you.
ever.
I dont know why now.
it will not happen ever again.
I cant breathe.
i want to end it all.
i want help.
i need help.
im so sorry,
i dont know why i tried to make it seem like everything was okay.
i dont know.
i miss you.
i love you.
You're the one that makes me forget everything when im with you.
The one who treats me with respect, love & care.
You're a REAL man.
& im just a horrible, little girl.
im sorry Anthony.
I just really need to help myself.
please just dont leave.
ill die.
i just want to be myself.
i cant.
i dont know